tummy tickles

I always believed that most people had a concrete view on who they were. I thought my friends and family were grounded by this unshakable sense of who they are- that my Father was comforted by an irrevocable feeling of self certainly, and that even my insane Mother had a few elements that she knew made up her soul. 

I've asked a number of people now- no one can give me an answer. Many people tell me (or perhaps themselves) of things that they desire to make up there self. Whilst others tell me about personality traits, or hobbies, or even interests.
I never knew what exactly it was I was looking for, but no one's answers seemed adequate. To me it would be a feeling, deep within yourself, that when you close your eyes- you know who you are.

I want that. 

I can feel little niggles, tremors of my self when I close my eyes, but its not the deep, certain secure sense that I so crave. 

I am currently compiling a mental list of all things that make these niggles grow stronger, if I identify those that do, and discard (at least temporarily) those that don't- then perhaps I shall achieve my aim.