hello.

This is a therapeutic collection of ramblings, plans, lists and collections that will hopeful assist me in discovering myself. 

I need desperately to regain control of my identity- I don't want to be red, I don't want to be white.. I want only to be amber. 

I have only a vague understanding of who I am, more of a small sense, but it is confused and faltering, it feels something like the memory of a dream when you awake. I can feel that it is there, but I just cant grasp it. 

But I must. I need it. I can't live like this. I can live as many. I desire to be just one.